When I started this "Battle of the Bulge" (meaning my bulge) then I visions of myself losing pound after pound each week until magically (without cravings or exercising) I would be the slim size 6 that I want to be. Then reality hit with the battle really beginning with my first craving for a cookie. I lost that battle. But I realized after my first day that if I really want to change how I look, for good this time instead of doing the fad diet and looking good for a little while only to gain it all back with friends, then I have to change my attitude and approach to how I am attacking this (or my battle plan). Some days it feels like a battle, I force myself to go running (which I hate), I force myself to limit my calorie intake (which is not nearly as fun as eating whatever I want) and I force myself to pay attention to what I am eating (instead of blissful ignorance where I can pretend that I didn't just eat that entire batch of cookies by myself). Every day that I failed to either exercise like I thought I should or ate more calories that I should I would beat myself up about it. Getting discouraged by the way I wasn't losing weight and upset at myself for my perceived failures. But I kept at it, some weeks I had more good days then bad days and some weeks I had more bad days then good days. There were weeks when I only exercised once during that entire week but I never abandoned the battle completely.
Last week I had an epiphany, I went dress shopping and I realized that I have dropped two dress sizes since I started the fight, from a 12 to a 10 and I realized I needed to approach this battle differently. Winston Churchill said, "Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential." I need to stop beating myself up for every time I fail and start paying attention to when I succeed. Also, as long as I am having more good days then bad days then I am going to see results. This doesn't mean on my bad days I can let myself eat an entire batch of cookies by myself but that I try my best. Obviously, I am not going to lose as quickly as I want (which in reality is being a size 8 tomorrow) but I am going to get there. Benjamin Disraeli said, "Through perseverance many people win success out of what seemed destined to be certain failure." So I am going to keep trying and hopefully by the time bathing suit weather gets here I will be down another two dress sizes. Even if I haven't dropped that much I will count it success if I don't gain the weight back. So be happy with the small victories and focus on your success instead of your failures and eventually you will get to where you want to be.
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